Blurb:
It's that time again!
The Monster community is abuzz with whispers of the most anticipated party of
the year. The deliciously exclusive event, has tongues wagging even amongst the
who's who of the Monster community. It will once again be held at an undisclosed
location on All Hallows Eve.
Don't worry all you
underprivileged socialites, The Monster Ball isn't just for vampires, witches,
and werewolves. Other creatures of the night have as much of a chance to
attend. Watch for your ticket, but not in the mail. The silvery slip of
parchment is said to appear in your hand by the light of the moon.
If you find yourself a
fortunate recipient, best to keep it to yourself. There are some who would kill
for the chance to attend. Because, as every good monster knows...what
happens at the ball, stays at the ball
xoxo, Elvira
Bonus Content:
Hello #MonsterNation, it’s your girl Elvira with some
fangtastic news! Another ball has come and gone, but the questions surrounding
the party still exist! Loyal fans of Monster Nation know that I've been trying
to track down the ball's mysterious Proprietor for many years. Who is The
Proprietor? It's the question we Monsters have been dying to know. Now, I
promised all our loyal fans an exclusive you don't want to miss, and I wasn't
kidding! I have found The Proprietor!....apparently. Why apparently, you
ask?
Come closer and I'll tell you. I have no actual recollection of
this interview. Neither does my camera man, Carl. Though we've searched
everywhere, we haven't found any video footage we undoubtedly would have taken.
All that remains is the audio from our encounter. What you are
about to read are the transcripts from our EXCLUSIVE interview with The Monster
Ball Proprietor. Remember, you heard it here first! xoxo
***
[rustling can be heard]
Elvira-- Carl, I see movement! Are we recording?
Carl-- We are green. Camera's rolling.
Elvira--I’m coming to you live from an undisclosed location as
we await the arrival of the creator of The Monster Ball! You heard that right
boys and gouls. If our sources are correct, we’ll soon be face to face with the
elusive creator of the Monster community’s hottest event of the year. You heard
that right, The Proprietor! How did I figure it out? That's one secret I'll
never tell.
[shuffling and muffled curses can be heard]
Elvira--Dammit, Carl! My dress is caught on this branch. A
little help please?!
[the sounds of the camera jostling and a twig snapping can be
heard]
Elvira - Thanks, Carl.
[a screen door slams shut and the sound of feet rapidly moving
on stairs is audible]
Proprietor - Are you fucking kidding me? Elvira, are you
seriously hiding in my bushes?
[camera jostling, branches snapping and delicate curses are
heard]
Elvira - Ow. That's right! It's your girl, Elvira. But you
already knew that. What our audience doesn't know, is who you are. But that's
all—
[a single snap can be heard. Then the sounds of cupboards
slamming shut]
Elvira - Where are we?! Are we in your kitchen?
Proprietor -Yeah, because I'm going to let you out me on my
front lawn, Elvira.
[a chair topples and the sound of broken glass can be heard]
Elvira--I KNEW you were The Proprietor! I've got so many
questions. Why do you keep your identity a secret? If I was throwing a party as
spectacular as yours, I'd make sure everyone knew it was me—
Proprietor - Elvira, I swear to the gods..... If you say one
more word before I've finished my coffee, I. Will. Kill. You!
Elvira - I'll just clean this up while I wait.
Proprietor - Don't bother. I've got it.
[another snap rings through the room]
Elvira - Well, that's handy.
Proprietor - Magic. Remember? Now, go sit your ass on my couch
and leave me in peace for five minutes and I'll give you your damn interview.
[heels click along the floor]
Proprietor - Seriously? Take Carl with
you! And don't snoop through my shit!
***
Elvira - Are you ready?
Proprietor - Almost. Just need my...
[snap sounds loudly]
Proprietor - Blanket. There. I'm ready now.
Elvira--Do you have to snap to work your magic?
Proprietor - No. I just like being a little extra sometimes. I
mean, you’ve heard of the
extravagance that is The Monster Ball. Need
I say more?
Elvira - Well, let's get started shall we?
Proprietor - Wait. I have two rules. You will never tell anyone
who I am. I'll make sure of that, but I'm going to let you have this little
interview in hopes that you will leave me alone after this. I have a life. I
choose to remain anonymous for a reason. You will not disrupt my life again.
Got it?
Elvira - Um, yes. Of course.
Proprietor - All right. Let's get this over with. I'm a little
grumpy. I just spent the night expending a lot of magic. I need to rest. And
who the hell is awake at this hour anyway?
Elvira - You know, you're not at all what I was expecting. I
was anticipating someone more...
Proprietor - Glamorous? Would it make you feel better if I
looked like this?
[snap followed by the rustling of fabric]
Elvira - Whoa! That red dress is to die for!
[snap. The sound of something dropping to a chair is heard
followed by a snort and the sound of a
spoon stirring in a glass]
Proprietor - I don't dress like that all the time, Elvira. Who
the hell wants to walk around in ballgowns every….er….Right, you do. I mean,
you totally rock it. I just live a relatively low key life, well, aside from
the ball.
Elvira - Now we're back to the good stuff! You throw the Monster
Community's hottest event of the year! Why don't you want people to know that
you're The Proprietor? You're almost as famous as I am, but you don't want
anyone to know…
[ giggling sounds]
Elvira - It just doesn't make any sense.
[a deep sigh and springs squeaking]
Proprietor - I don't want
to be famous. I guess some people think, throwing The Monster Ball must mean that I like attention, but it
really quite the opposite. Everyone thinks of the perks of being “The Proprietor” but nobody ever stops to
think about the downside.
Elvira - What could possibly be bad about the fame that would
come with announcing yourself?
Proprietor - The Monster Ball as you have so eloquently put it
is “the hottest event of the year,” but
that doesn't mean it's necessarily sanctioned. We do our best to keep the
secret of Monsters but, just this year we had to handle two assassination
attempts, multiple fights, and a rather unfortunate…. mess. Right now, we keep
out the worst of the Monster Community. What do you imagine would happen to the
ball if people knew how to find me? What do you imagine would happen to me?
Elvira - Wow. I suppose you're right. I've never really thought
about it from that perspective. Why don't we try a fun question then? Why
Halloween? You could have chosen any day, so why did you choose the day that's
so important to so many in the Monster Community? In the beginning, it couldn't
have been easy convincing people to come on such an important night.
Proprietor - That's easy. It's my birthday.
[something rattles on wood and muttering is barely discernable]
Elvira - The Monster Ball is your birthday party?!
Proprietor - Damnit, Elvira. Are you going to break everything
in my house before you go?
[a long pause]
Proprietor - I can see the question swirling in those eyes of
yours. Yes. The Monster Ball is essentially my birthday party.
Elvira - Why don't you demand gifts? I'd sooooooooo demand
gifts. You'd make out like a god.
Proprietor - Oh, trust me. Everyone who attends the ball gives
me a little gift.
Elvira - What do you…
Proprietor - Nope. Hard pass on that one, Toots.
Elvira - But
Proprietor - Hard pass, Fool.
[a stomp can be heard before a soft thud]
Proprietor - Did you seriously just stomp your foot like a three
year old? Carl, does that work for her often?
Carl - You'd be surprised.
[snorting]
Elvira - If you two are quite finished, I'd like to get on with
this interview.
Proprietor - Don't be so sensitive. Come on, hit me with your
next question.
Elvira - The Monster Ball has a reputation for bringing a lot of
people together. How do you manage so many matches each year?
Proprietor - Sorry Elvira, but to steal your own line… That's
one secret I'll never tell.
Elvira - I should trademark that, but I don't want to be
perceived as cocky.
[laughter sounds]
Elvira - I know it's not really a polite question, but what kind
of Monster are you? The amount of magic required for the ball means that you
must be very powerful, but sitting with you I can't tell what exactly you are.
I don't think I've ever encountered someone like you before.
[a low whistle rings out]
Proprietor - Damn, girl. I can't believe you went there. I am
indeed a unique monster, but what is between my parents and myself. Since you
have lady balls, I will give you a little something on this question though.
The Monster Ball may be my baby, but I do have help. It requires the magic of
three in order to be successful.
Elvira - You have help?! Who?
Proprietor - Sorry, Elvira. That's not my secret to tell. Now,
as much as I've enjoyed our time together, I think it's time for us to be
saying goodbye. Carl, you're one weird, quiet dude. It was a pleasure, but I
need some sleep before I turn into a raging witch.
[muffled sounds and heels click]
Elvira - Wait, I want you to know that I have decided to keep
your secret.
Proprietor - Uh, what?
Elvira - Oh, don't act so surprised. I'm not a total bat. Your
little speech got to me. The Monster Ball is much better off if you keep your
secret.
Proprietor - Wow. I really didn't expect that from you, Elvira.
I feel kinda shitty now to be honest. I want you to know that I really
appreciate it, and when you realize what I've done, please know it was only as
a precaution.
Elvira - When you do what?
Proprietor - This.
[a reverberating snap sounds]
***
Well, there you have it, boys and gouls. Our exclusive interview
with The Monster Ball’s mysterious Proprietor! I hope we cleared up a few
questions about the spooktacular event, and for all those questions that
remain….. There's always next year. You know you love me.
xoxo
