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Sunday, September 15, 2019


You've been on my mind since the first time my eyes laid sight on you. With every passing meeting and moment, my feelings for you grew.

Admiration. Adoration. Lust.

You were a complete gentleman.

Attentive. Supportive. Inclusive.

When we first crossed paths, I was seeing someone. Nevertheless, you remained on my mind.

Your commanding personality, your handsome features, your enthusiastic nature. It was hard not to be intoxicated by you.

And then I started toeing the line. Letting you know I'd be open to something more. But your mysterious nature, the same one that drew me to you began to trump everything else.

You gave me a part of yourself one night. Multiple parts that I've kept locked away for safe keeping. Parts that made my heart full and eager.

You let me into a part of your world after. A very important part. You told me it wasn't something you did for just anyone. Special doesn't even describe how you made me feel.

But you also kept me at an arm's length. Enough to keep me salivating for more, enough to keep your heart safe and guarded.

But what you don't know is that I've been admiring you from afar for months. What you don't know is that being around you has made me feel something I haven't felt in over 10 years. Something I've been chasing but never thought I'd find again.

And now begins the overthinking, the ball in the pit of my stomach telling me that I've misread all of the signs. That you are not into me the same way I'm feeling you. That I'm not running through your mind day and night like you are through mine.

I'm terrified to ask where your head is at because it may change everything. And I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I'm not sure I'm ready to lose you. Not yet.

We come from vastly different worlds and yet I crave more. I want to know more. There is so much time, yet it ticks by so quickly I worry those fleeting moments may be all I will get.

I'm not naive enough to think you've been alone these last six years. I haven't been alone the last ten years. But I wasn't settling because I was looking for that passion. That missing flame.

I'm not anything compared to the women you've spent time with and you are completely different from the guys who have occupied my time. But there is only 1 me and there is only 1 you and my hope is that we went through all the other bullshit to find each other. That we were just waiting to find that person we could be ourselves with. The person we could let our walls down for.