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Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Sneak Peek of The Many Faces of Love

Like Gaga said, “Boys like you love me forever…” and I honestly believe they will always love me in one way or another. I know I changed their lives forever, some for the better--some not so much. But now, I finally understand how much I deserve…and what I can take away from all of these experiences so I don’t make the same mistakes again.

I’m trying something new--living without regret. Learning from lessons and moving on full force. I hope each of you can take away a valuable lesson from my experiences, or I simply hope you enjoyed a fresh read; either way, get out there and experience love. It can and will change your life, and hopefully for the better.

September 16th, 2008
Exes and Oh’s

I never lied.
I am amazing.
I told you that you would regret it.
I told you I was the best thing to happen to you.
I told you that you would never find anyone better.
I was right.
I'm always right.
You let me go.
And I guess that's something you will have to live with.
But me?
I will smile and know I never gave up without a fight.

You told me that when you make a decision you don't care about anything else.
You told me that you think about me from time to time.
You told me that I never deserved what you put me through.
You told me that I was stupid and worthless.

But I know I changed every one of your lives.

I loved you and tried to make you feel the same way.
I did everything for you, I always put you first.
I let you belittle me online to everyone you knew.
I fucked you over more times than I can count.


I know that someday you'll wake up.
If you already haven't.
And realize that I am with someone else.
And I am happy.
And that you could have had this.
You could have had a blessed life with someone like me.
But you don't.
And I hope you remember not to make the same mistake again.
I hope you don't ever hurt her like you hurt me.
I hope you never make her cry like you made me cry.
Or make her feel like she is nothing.

Thank you for letting me go.
Thank you for being my learning experience.
Thank you for choosing her.
Thank you for making me realize.

Monday, February 13, 2017

TBT - Remembering the One Person I Can't Ever Forget

Friday, July 27, 2012
I heard our song the other day; One of only 2 songs in the world that could remind me of you. It wasn't expected, but surprised me on shuffle. Imogen Heap's voice always takes me back; Back to the days of endless phone calls, back to the days of butterflies.

I haven't thought of you in almost 2 years. I think back to my archives on here and when I never thought I would ever be over you. How many relationships came and went and how my feelings for you never wavered.

You are long since married and have a daughter, I'm told. You really did amazing for yourself, you know that? I'm so proud of you and I'm sure you are happy beyond words. You always told me I would amount to nothing and I was worthless. You were right.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Sneak Peek from My Currently Untitled WIP!

© 2017 Krista Pakseresht. All Rights Reserved.

“Braxton!” I shout at him. “Put me down.”

He doesn’t listen to me at all, and I’m worried he is going to try to walk me through the entire venue like this, which won’t bode well for anyone.

Instead of marching me to the merch table like I imagined, he ends up carrying me into the green room for the band. Attached to the green room, there is a private bathroom and he doesn’t release me until we are secured inside. He locks the door behind my head and then places both of his palms on the door behind my back, pinning me in place.

“What are you doing?” I ask, but my voice sounds small. My heart is beginning to race from the closeness of his body, his lips.

“Robert isn’t the guy for you,” Braxton says in a definitive tone.

“And you would know that how?” I push back, irritated.

“Because he’s not a good guy,” he answers.

I scoff, breaking eye contact with a roll of my eyes. “No one is good enough for you or Cade.”

Braxton shakes his head. “You deserve better than him, Em.”

I lock eyes with him again. “And what, do you think of yourself as some kind of saint or something?”

He looks offended or slightly hurt, but he recovers quickly. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes; I don’t deny that.”

“What do you want, Braxton?” I ask, frustrated in more ways than one.

He pauses for a few moments, takes a deep breath, and then looks me deeply in the eyes. “I want you.”

I don’t know what I was expecting him to say, but that was not it. I’m so thrown off by it, if I weren’t backed up firmly against the wall, I would have stumbled over my own feet.

“You…what?” I’m still trying to process his words when he takes another step into my personal bubble.

“I…want…you,” he says the words slowly and in a whisper against my lips sending chills down my arms.

“But you’ve been avoiding me…you—” His lips cut me off as he presses them firmly against mine.

“Stop…talking,” he says in between kisses. And for once in my life, I do what he says.