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Monday, January 20, 2020

I Wanna Live Forever

I thought about you today. It's been awhile so it surprised me when it happened. I'm not sure what made me think of you or why I wanted to go back and read every post I've written about you. Something unspoken inside of me, I guess. Maybe it's because I've now been single for over 10 years. I'm beginning to lose hope. The light inside of me is starting to fade.

Am I truly that unlovable or is it that I haven't let anyone close to me in so long? Why is it that I can't find the spark easily and it's always so few and far between these days? Am I destined to be alone forever? They say you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you, and maybe that's been the problem all along. Maybe it's me that is broken still. Maybe it's me that needs healing.