Pieces of Me

During the time I was re-writing Madalynne & Parker, I began work on a new novel titled 'Pieces of Me'. I had read this book by a YA adult author by the name of Cheryl Klam called The Pretty One. 

Here is the description of Amazon if you want to check it out for yourself:
All Megan Fletcher had wanted was to be like her sister Lucy: a beautiful, thin girl whom everyone at the Chesapeake School for Performing Arts worshipped and adored. While Lucy was a star actress with lots of fans, Megan had always been hiding behind the set designs that she and her best friend Simon had created, hoping that no one would notice her. And then one day, life as Megan knew it had changed forever. Megan was in an accident that disfigured her face and plastic surgeons had to
restructure it very carefully. Only no one would have thought that when the bandages came off, Megan would be even more beautiful than Lucy . . .

It's really unfortunate it only has eight reviews on Amazon, because I adored it. The writing was easy to follow and I became invested with the characters and plot. It was one of the first books in a long time, I thought about when I wasn't reading it and spent all my time apart from it wanting to be back together, reading it again. I had to know what happened to Megan. I think it's because I could relate to Megan, being a bigger girl all of my life. 

All the novels I have ever written have always had stunning protagonists, I would write descriptions of these girls based off of what I wished I looked like. Understanding that people can fall in love with anyone no matter their shape or size was really what I liked about the underlying tones...but in The Pretty One, that's not necessarily what happens. They all fall over her after she has constructive surgery and is suddenly "beautiful" and not ordinary any longer.

The really cool thing about 'Pieces of Me' is I have incorporated my real life lyrics into each chapter of the novel. And it flows amazingly well. Each novel I write has instances of my life or what I wish my life was like. Hence, the lyrics and band in the novel. 

I have written over 16,000 words so far, but still have at least 24,000 to go. I had stopped writing 'Pieces of Me' abruptly when I had my dream that spawned my 'Reality Squared' idea.  Last night however I revisited POM and found that it really had promise and made me excited for the time I will be able to spend finishing it.

Check out the cool new prologue I wrote for it:

Prologue

Ordinarily, she would be far from my radar…but there was something behind those enchanting brown eyes that drew me in, kept me coming back for more. I felt her sadness, her sorrow, her pain. All I wanted to do with every inch of my being was make her feel wanted, loved. But something was holding me back, pinning me in place, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to confront that truth just yet. I cared far too much about my peers’ opinions to risk it all blindly. But Peyton was all I had been fantasizing about since we crossed paths, my yearning for her almost too much to bare; I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stand to be apart.

It is written in the POV of the character she will end up with. But that will not be revealed until the end of the novel itself. The rest of the novel is completely in Peyton's POV. 

Check out one more excerpt:

                We were seated on the couch in his hotel, close enough to touch, but far enough away to be appropriate in any situation. I was wiping away tears in the corner of my eyes from laughing so hard at something Colton had said, when he changed everything. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” He asked out of nowhere, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

                I was suddenly aware I was shaking, uncontrollably. It was an uncomfortable sight, so I got up suddenly and retreated to an adjacent wall, which I leaned upon. I couldn’t even look at him. No one had ever called me beautiful other than my parents; it had to be too good to be true. He obviously felt the awkward tension and didn’t waste any time addressing it. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked, as he rose and started slowly coming towards me.

                My heart was beating faster and harder with each step he took forward. I couldn’t remember how to breathe. I was pretty sure I was going to faint, but was surprised to see I was still alert when he finally made his way to me. “Hey,” He touched my cheek softly, “What’s wrong?”

                I couldn’t look him in the eyes with such an embarrassing confession, so I did my best to look away. “No one has told me that before.”

                “What? That you’re beautiful?” And suddenly something seemed to click for him. I saw pain in his eyes, the realization finally making its appearance. “You are beautiful Peyton,” He looked down into my eyes for a long time, willing me to believe him, willing me to see what he saw.

                I was still shaking, butterflies attacking my insides, and still having trouble breathing, when Colton gently caressed my cheek with his hand. I knew, this was the moment I had been waiting all my life for; my first kiss. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips against mine. Volts of electricity were shooting through my entire body, out through my fingertips, my toes, even my nose. With each brush of our lips, the magic increased. It began with slow, delicate kisses, and then before I knew it, they were hard, passionate kisses. Colton pressed me up against the wall, continuing to kiss me, but I felt his hands grace my hips and stomach. He was pulling me into his kisses, he was leaving me breathless. Before I knew it, he had my arms pinned against the wall over my head, and he was exploring my body with his mouth, my lips, my cheek, my neck, my ear, I could hardly bare it. I was fully aware I was moaning, but I didn’t care, this felt good. 

The Many Faces of Love

At the same time I published Madalynne & Parker, I also decided I was ready to publish my non-fiction novel, The Many Faces of Love. It was a novel I began writing over five years ago in an attempt to bring closure to my past relationships. It is written completely different than anything else I have done in the past because it also includes my real life journals, emails, and letters to these young men and vice versa.

Shortly after I finished the novel, I sent out copies of each chapter to the guys I was still in contact with or on good terms. I even approached one of them before I wrote his chapter asking if I could use his journal entry off his blog and he said yes.

Right before I self-published I decided to change all the names in my novel except for my own. For legal purposes of course, in case any of the guys want to sue me for anything I've written. I have such a strong personal connection to the work, I don't know that I'll ever be able to pull myself apart from it enough to see if it is worthy of reading.

Check out this excerpt from the beginning of the book:

My name is Krista Pakseresht. I have no middle name because Iranians don't believe in it. I’m barely 27, and yet, I feel as though I have gone through more trials and hurdles than any young female in this world. In my 27 years of life I have loved, I have lost, I have hurt, I have bled, I have shed tears of pain, I have shed tears of joy, I have been completely happy, I have been completely broken. I think I have felt every emotion a single person can. I've been through addictions, and I've conquered them. I've been through physical, mental, and verbal abusive relationships, and I've escaped. I've been through my parents’ divorce, and was fine. I've been cheated on, and survived. I've looked death in the face, and walked out with not even a scratch. I feel as though I am one independently strong woman. I know I am worth something to this world and the people around me, for once in my life. I no longer have to question people's feelings about me. For once in my life, I am content with who I am and excited about what the future holds.

I think a lot about my past. The people I chose to surround myself with, the failing relationships I learned from. I wonder about what these people learned from me, or if they even did. I do not regret a single decision I’ve made, because if not for those decisions, I would not be who I am today. I would not be happy.

This book is a compilation of my past relationships. To show you a little of where I came from, and where I am today. It will give you a glimpse into all of the horrible decisions I made, while also all of the amazing ones. I think, it will help the world better understand me. I have loved many people in my years, and I have been hurt by many of those loves. This for me is closure. I am writing this book so I can close the door on my past and open the door wide to my future. So, hello my future! Goodbye to my past.

I'm nervous about making myself so vulnerable, but also anxious to see what people think. I need to develop a marketing plan. 

Great news for Madalynne & Parker!

I finished re-writing M&P at the begining of the summer, but only recently began fishing it to Beta readers to see what they thought. I sent out 4-5 copies of the novella, and only received 1 follow up in the six days. A really prompt, professional, sincere lady by the name of Cassie Rhodes returned my novella with feedback first. And for only my second beta read ever, it went better than I could have expected. 

Here are some of the pluses from her read:
+She loved the names of the main characters
+It was an easy, refreshing read with little to no spelling/grammatical errors
+She rooted for M&P to work out

Here are her constructive notes:
-The novella just plunges you in without a back story
-The flow might be better with alternating chapters
-Madalynne was not a strong female lead, so she had trouble connecting with her

I was so happy to get a fresh perspective on my writing. I have always worried that alternating chapters would be too repetitive, but after taking her advice, I implemented it, and the story flows much better! I also wrote a prologue to give a little reasoning why Madalynne feels the need to lean on everyone for support. And I even wrote a bit more to the ending and am so excited because it is going to lead into the second Novella for this series. I'm going to have to brainstorm a name for the trilogy. 

Check out the awesome new Prologue:

Prologue

.

Madalynne

                There was never a doubt in my mind that Parker and I were soul mates. No one had ever made me feel the way he did, and I didn’t want them to. When my father had the affair, I felt like my world was caving in on me. I was terrified I was going to lose my family. Parker was the only person I could lean on, the only person I could talk to about my feelings. He brought me out of my depression. He helped me see the light again.

Parker

                She was the girl of my dreams. It was the most amazing feeling in the world getting to be in love with your best friend. Madalynne was unlike any other girl I had come upon. She was in a league of her own. When Bo passed I slipped into a deep depression, and even though I pushed Madalynne away at every turn, she never gave up on me. I owed her my life, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life making her happy.

If you would like to purchase Madalynne & Parker in ebook form, it is at the affordable price of .99 cents currently! Just click this link! : http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E06FA0A

Self Aware & Self Obsessed

So I have this issue with myself. Actually, it's something that I've been dealing with my entire life. I know I'm destined for bigger or better things, but I'm not always sure the world knows that. I live in my head. It's become a safe zone for me throughout the years. But that also means I have skewed ideas of how amazing I actually am. Or so I think.

My entire life I've been told I'm selfish or self centered. My friends, my family, even my exes. Everything was always about me. My way or the highway. And I'm a Taurus, so add stubborn to that mixture. My old boss at Wells Fargo even made a sign that he taped to my desk that read, "It's All About Krista", my co-workers even made a song up to go along with it. I always thought they were joking. I never understood that there was truth to what they sang.

Being on my own and living in Portland for so many years, I have come to understand what they really meant. And even appreciate the fact that my family and friends were willing to stick by me through that phase in my life, because it was a long one. 

I've become more humble over the years, but I still live in my head 60% of the time. And I still think I'm fabulous and destined for greatness. There are so many things I am passionate about and love doing that I'm going to be able to find fulfillment out of when I move to Vegas. I am incredibly anxious and excited for the opportunities that await me!

Is this really my life???

I've been itching to write. And so that's exactly what I have been doing the past year. Writing, constantly. Lyrics, novels, etc. This year has been the most incredible year for me. I don't even know where to begin really...So I guess I'll just start with what I can remember.

In the fall of last year, finally after years away, I was able to return to college. I quit working my soul-sucking job at Netflix and was able to find the time. I took some amazing courses. Ones that renewed my faith in my talents. 

I took an introductory psych class and for my final I had to get up in front of the class and sing a song I wrote. It was nerve wracking. I mean, I always knew I was talented, but I guess I just assumed people didn't like my voice or me as a person, even. The song ended and people were actually clapping, excitedly. My teacher kept sneaking me supportive glances; I knew I had killed it. Before I left class that day, five separate people stopped me to compliment my voice or my song; I was flying on cloud nine. The following class I had five more additional classmates approach me and compliment me. My teacher expressed extreme delight multiple times throughout the next few classes and even in a glowing review she wrote on my final.

The following term I signed up for a film class that paired aspiring directors with aspiring actors for film acting. Most of the term was spent on radio and commercial bits. But at the very end of it, we had our final scenes and I was so impressed with myself when I was the only actor who shed a tear on camera. I learned so much from Barry Hunt throughout my classes with him. Now I know what to expect when going into film acting. And I know I have what it takes.

The financial aid I was approved for was very minimal and only a loan, therefore I have been supplementing my income with two part time jobs on top of going to school full time. But it has gotten very difficult, because I developed a chronic illness. And I'm going to do something that barely anyone does with my illness; I'm going to talk about it.

I began noticing problems when I felt like I was dying after work; literally feeling like my stomach was eating itself alive. I would rapidly pick a fast food drive thru and order food, only to feel nauseous two bites in. It seemed like everything I ate went through me faster than a hose. Weight began to melt off my body. A couple of pounds at a time. Then, I became groggy and fatigued almost 100% of the time. I couldn't function without caffeine, but it was not settling well with my stomach. And nothing I ate, and I mean that honestly, made me feel better.

I was diagnosed with Crohn's. And it turned my life upside down. I lost over 50 pounds in two months, I had no insurance, no medication, and I was still having to face my normal routine, everyday.

When summer finally hit and an opportunity arose to get outta dodge, I took it with no hesitation. What was there to lose? No school and minimum wage jobs that don't make me happy anyways. So I am packing up my life, or what will be left of it by then...mainly clothes...my laptop, me---and I am moving to Las Vegas. I have been given an opportunity to work for my best friend, Thien-nga Palmer at her entertainment company, T Music Entertainment Group.

An amazing thing happened when I was diagnosed/when I decided to move; My father paid off all of my credit card debt. He handed me a $5000 check without a second glance. Who does that happen to? I am very privileged to have a father who can help me out financially.

So there is this girl, Amanda Hocking. I came across her website when I read a book review a blogger had done on one of her titles, "Switched". This girl is only two years older than me. She first self-published "Switched" in 2010--It only took three years for her life to change drastically for the better...and now she gets to do what she loves everyday, all day. I've been writing my entire life. If she can do it; I can do it. 

I am so excited what the future holds with acting, singing, writing for me...I recently self-published two of my novels, Madalynne & Parker and The Many Faces of Love. I'm intrigued to see how they will do!

Hide & Seek//Scratched Out

I heard our song the other day. One of only 2 songs in the world that could remind me of you. It wasn't expected, but surprised me on shuffle. Imogen Heap's voice always takes me back. Back to the days of endless phone calls, back to the days of butterflies. 

I haven't thought of you in almost 2 years. I think back to my archives on here and when I never thought I would ever be over you. How many relationships came and went and how my feelings for you never wavered.

You are long since married and have a daughter, I'm told. You really did amazing for yourself, you know that? I'm so proud of you and I'm sure you are happy beyond words. You always told me I would amount to nothing and I was worthless. You were right.

Untangle Me

I took a long break from posting on here. But haven't stopped writing in general. Still writing books and lyrics. 

My birthday came and went. I am now 26 years old. I am still living in Portland, I have been here now for a year and a half. Time really does fly. Before I know it, it is going to be my 10 year reunion for high school. I hope by then I have something to show for myself. A career, a new look, a new love, etc. 

I've been thinking lately that maybe Portland isn't what I need now. I came, I saw, I conquered, but still don't have much to show for my time here. Yes, I have a full time job. But I hate it. Yes I have an apartment. But my roommate and I have nothing in common. Yes Jesse is up here with me. But Mimms is not. 

I am headed to Vegas on Friday to celebrate Jesse and My birthday(s). Thien-nga is going to try to convince me to move there when I visit. Vegas would be the best and worst thing for me. The only reason I would ever make such a drastic bold change is if it would benefit my life goals in the long run. Who knows. I am willing to hear her out. 

I am rewriting Madalynne & Parker. So far this is the best rewrite yet. I am pretty stoked on it and when I do finish it I would really like to pursue getting it published. It is terribly difficult to rewrite a book, don't know how many people have done it. But I figure it's kind of like a rough draft essay, which you have to go through and fix errors to come out with the best paper. Although instead of changing sentences and fixing grammar and spelling errors I am rewriting the entire concept. I have really been enjoying it and from what I've heard it is turning out to be well worth it.

I think I am going to enter the ISC competition. I don't have a band, so I can't enter any of the categories except for the lyrics only category. I have a few that I am trying to decide between, but I think I really have a chance. Hoping to get a few opinions on which one I should submit before entering, however.